Risk Point: Getting Mishandled by Other People’s Interests
When you get clear about your interests, you will attract both resistance and results.
One of the most overlooked risks of personal and professional growth is carrying interests that were never truly your own—interests driven by the expectations of others rather than your own calling and convictions.
And when you begin focusing on the priorities that matter most to you, something else tends to happen…It disrupts the expectations other people have of you.
Sometimes that disruption shows up as subtle distancing.
Sometimes it appears as criticism.
And sometimes it reveals that you may need to exit certain roles, relationships, or environments altogether.
Because when you are clear about how you will use your time, cognitive energy, and tangible resources, it will reveal where others’ unsolicited demands on you may be attempting to thwart your development.
The Truth About Interests
Here is a truth about interests that many people overlook:
When you lack clear plans for how you will spend your time, other people will insert their own plans into your life.
This happens more often than we would like to think.
Life gets busy, and we quickly adjust to habits and patterns. Because we naturally crave structure, it is not long before something that began as a simple request becomes an ongoing expectation. An expectation we never quite take the time to evaluate against our own values, vision, and priorities.
A Simple Example
A friend or neighbor asks you to pick up their child from school and bring them home this “one time” because they have to work late.
Since both of your children attend the same school, it is not a difficult request for you to honor.
But suddenly the person needs to work late more often.
And the request becomes more frequent.
The recurrence of the request—and your granting of it—seems inconsequential.
But it is actually costing you.
Without realizing it, you may underestimate the time required for everything that follows:
Dropping the child off at their home before getting to yours
The additional travel time involved
The errands you planned between picking up your own child. Like, going to the grocery store or stopping by your in-laws before returning home
Not to mention other factors outside your control, such as traffic, weather, or unexpected delays.
Now, this may be an added cost you have no problem with. That act of service may be tremendously meaningful and an important part of being in community with that person.
But the real question is this ––
Have you examined the cost of the request and its ripple effect on your life and relationships? Or have you simply allowed yourself to function on autopilot?
Some Interests Are Not Your Own
There are a few realities we must be honest about:
Some interests are not your own.
Some interests we have no business entertaining.
And some interests, when left unexamined, pull us away from what we are actually called to invest our time, cognitive capacity, and tangible resources into building, renewing, or enhancing.
If we are not careful, they quietly redirect our focus away from the work that truly matters.
The Cultural Trap of Curiosity
This is a common challenge many of us face today.
The cultural trap of curiosity—the constant attempt to pull our attention toward things that merely catch our interest—is always working to extend our energy in directions we were never meant to direct it.
Curiosity toward any interest has to be aggressively directed—or redirected.
Otherwise, it becomes prey to misuse because it keeps us moving toward things we do not authentically have a personal or professional call to, or a desire to see develop into something meaningful, an enhancement.
Consider the difference:
Browsing job boards during lunch vs. updating your résumé and networking strategically in your field.
Being in group chats or social circles simply to feel included vs. building a circle that reflects who you are becoming, not who you have been.
Signing up for online courses you never finish vs. choosing one program that teaches exactly what you need and completing it fully.
One is passive curiosity.
The other is directed engagement that leads to enhancement.
The Cognitive Capital Ladder
Think about this through the lens of what I call the Cognitive Capital Ladder.
This ladder progresses from the Passive Level at the bottom to the Enhancement Level at the top.
At the Passive level, engagement is easy. The brain prefers it because the demand is low.
But moving toward enhancement requires directed engagement.
It requires clarity.
Commitment.
And sustained focus.
And once you begin moving toward enhancement, something else tends to happen. You begin attracting resistance.
When Directed Engagement Disrupts Expectations
Earlier in my leadership career, I served as the principal of the largest elementary school in my district.
It was the most economically and culturally diverse elementary school in the district and had a decades-long reputation as one of the most challenging places to work.
Early successes at the school led district leadership to begin floating the idea that I should move to the middle school or high school so that some of the practices we were implementing at the elementary level could be replicated there.
But I was clear about something. I had been hired to lead that elementary school. And I believed my assignment was to remain there.
I had already spent a significant portion of my career at the secondary level. The elementary environment was new to me, and I believed it was a place where I could become a high-level asset for that learning community.
I made it clear that my commitment was to that school.
That clarity created frustration for some people.
There was a mismatch between what others saw as possibilities for me and what I saw as the enhancement I was committed to developing.
And as my work moved from interest to enhancement, resistance began to surface.
During my final year there, I experienced some of the greatest professional mishandling of my career. At the very same time, our school was experiencing some of its greatest successes. Those successes included:
• Our Dads in School program, where fathers and father figures volunteered during the school day.
• Recognition from our state governor for our Pre-K program, which became a model implementation across the district.
• Securing a science, engineering, and mathematics resource grant that was doubled in size after we presented how the resources would support our learning community.
Additionally, our school had been targeted for having a subgroup of students consistently struggling in mathematics. Within two years of focused intervention, those students outperformed the broader student community within our school.
What This Reveals About Interests
People will have interests for you.
People will have agendas they would prefer you to prioritize over your own.
And then there are the interests you require of yourself to prioritize.
You are responsible for setting the focus for what you will transform from interest into enhancement, despite other people’s preferences for you…And when you do, you will attract both resistance and results.
The Risk Point
There is always a risk point when moving an interest into an enhancement.
You will attract both resistance and results.
The decision will be yours whether to stay committed to the work you are called to do or allow other people’s interests to redirect your focus.
Scripture captures this clearly:
“Whatever you are capable of doing, do with all your might…” — Ecclesiastes 9:10
When an interest becomes an enhancement, the ripple effects extend far beyond you.
They impact the people who experience the results of your commitment.
A Question Worth Asking Yourself
Take a moment and consider this:
What interests are you currently carrying that are actually someone else’s priority for you?
And what would happen if you redirected your time, energy, and tangible resources toward the interest you know you are meant to develop into an enhancement?
Because when you do, resistance may come.
But so will results.
Take Care & Live!
